Testing, Tiring... Toilet Training!

Everyone is tested differently with their kids. Some have problem with feeding, some with speech development, tantrums etc. For me..at this point.. i think its toilet training, fiuh!
Alhamdulillah..'ala kulli haal..
Praise be to Allah... whatever it is.

If i could give another name to it, from the trainer's point of view, it would be patience training!
seriously...
they say there are so many different ways of doing this. One of it is to time your kids poo time and then try to put him on the potty around the same time. So i started my toilet training career with this method. But, no, for mus'ab the method just cause delay in his daily poo time and, of course at the same time also caused the abandonment of some housechores, due to the time taken to sit there with him to give support!

talking about support, when i think back of all the 'words of wisdom' i had used in motivating mus'ab throughout this training process.. its kinda funny.
let me share with you some of the words.

-where are you big papa bubu? where are you baby bubu? (once mus'ab answered back- big papa bubu tido!)
-come lets see the yellow waterfall / the yellow fountain..
-lets wait for the big papa bubu to fall into the water, then we can see it swim in the water and then flush it out

Then we moved on to the more aggresssive and nasty method- keep him diaperless!
with the house fully carpeted upstairs, with the precious rugs and sofas as potential victims, i knew that choosing this method means serious business here!
but, as a mother, i have to move on! (especially after knowing 2 of my friends with kids the same age as mus'ab are toilet trained already)

The first few days of applying the method was... i dont know how to describe it... testing and tiring!
each time i put him on the potty, he didnt want to go but as soon as i put on his pants, he would ran away and release it all.. everytime, everywhere!- including...as expected.. the sofa!
so after a few days of failure after failure.. i decided to stop, maybe he is not ready yet.
anyway, i myself need to have a break from this very tensed process!

so i took about 2 weeks to get back into the toilet training mood..
this time i wanna do it right, i  wanna start it right.
in everything that u do, be it as simple as toilet training ( though its not that simple actually) we have to turn to Allah. So really, that very day, on the  11/1/2011.. hah! what a great date!
i was given the opportunity by Allah to wake up in tahajjud in summer! Alhamdulillah
among the things that i prayed for was for Him to make it easy for me to toilet train mus'ab
Alhamdulillah, with His help, it really happened!
on that very day, as soon as mus'ab woke up, i put him diaperless..
then to my 'amazement'.. he did it... he poo... in his PANTS!
and i was just so amazed at the amount of poo on his pants that the first few seconds of looking at it, i didnt now what to do..where to start..
so its ok, i didnt freak out..  i was cool.. as usual ;P
i believe that i've done my part as a servant of Allah: thats to turn to Him i any situation.
thats a success already, Alhamdulillah.
then i didnt give up.. again i put him diaperless..
under very very close supervision... waiting for  the signs
as soon as i noticed it,i brought him to the toilet, he didnt want to  sit on the potty, but was so restless.
so i sat at the door, i knew its coming, so then just when i noticed that the 1st dro is coming.. i put him on  the potty... by force.. and there u go.. a yellow waterfall!
so then i gave him what i promised him... ice-cream!
which, of course, is not a very suitable reward esp when ur toilet training
it just caused him to go to the toilet more!..  by the will of Allah, of course
so to cut the long story short.. since then, each time he wants to go, he does it in the toilet
Fiuh! Alhamdulillah...

suddenly the story of Ya'qoob Alayhissalam crossed my mind..
when he lost Yusuf Alayhissalam and was praying to Allah.. then Allah took Yusuf Alayhissalam's younger brother as  well. Even a prophet's doa, sometimes Allah  just wants to test us. We ask for the black clouds to go away  but then it rained heavily, instead. Allah knows best!
believe that this life is a place of test, all of it.. be it good or bad.
believe that the place of rewards is the HereAfter.
know who we are.
whats our part and do it..

the rest... leave it to Allah.

securing sincerity

Rasulullah Salallahu'alayhiwasallam was once asked what is iman? He replied: Ikhlas..
Alhamdulillah, Allah  has given us iman. A gift that will not only bring us happiness and salvation in the HereAfter but also happiness here, in this temporary world.
Who says a mu'min cant lead a happy life? In fact, there is no other way to attain true happiness in this life other than choosing to be a mu'min. We need deen to live life successfully. Our Creator knows whats best for us and so He gives us deen as a guidance. He doesnt need us to worship Him, but we need to worship Him for our own well-being in this life and the next.

Zaid ibne Thabit RadiAllahu'anhu narrates: i heard Rasulullah Salallahu'alayhiwasallam saying: He whose goal  and objective (intention) becomes this mortal world, then Allah scatters his affairs (he faces worries and anxieties in every aspects); and He places the fear of poverty in front of his eyes; and he receives only that which has been preordained for him  (and nothing more). And he whose intention (goal and objective) is Al Akhirah, then Allah makes all his affairs easy; and He creates contentment and satisfaction in his heart, and the (mortal)  world comes to him in utter humiliation and abasement.(Ibne Majah)

Iman is believing that there is none to be worshipped except Allah, while ikhlas is to do something solely for the pleasure of Allah. SubhanAllah, how Allah guided our Prophet that he gave such a concise and most correct answer.. Iman is Ikhlas.

All deeds are going to be counted based on the intention.
even if its the smallest of deed but if its done for Allah, only, insyaAllah it shall be of great  benefit for the doer. Without ikhlas, even if its the biggest deed, it will be of no value in the eyes of Allah.
So, people, come! check our intentions, in everything that we do.
scholars mentioned that 1 way of knowing whether one is sincere in doing something is that he or she wont be affected by peoples praising or criticising his or  her work. of course, the work has to be in accordance with the shariah.

as a housewife, i found that remembering the fact that even the smallest  of deeds if done with ikhlas is of great value in the eyes of Allah, can really keep you going. Just that sometimes, when things become a routine u tend to forget to make intention and so you'd end up doing it for the sake of doing your daily chores and having it done. So one good idea i found some of my friends did was to put up a sign on the wall which says: FOR THE PLEASURE OF ALLAH.

The principle of tawheed- believing in the Oneness of Allah, that everything we do in our lives is for Him is a great blessing for all of us. If we really hold on to this, then decision-making in life would be much easier. a  true mu'min will lead a dilemma-free life if he or she really hold on to this principle.
problem with us is that, we always want to make everyone happy with us, when , in fact, its almost impossible or should i say its really is impossible to  do so. So remember, as a mu'min, lets choose to please Allah.

Ibne "Abbas RadiAllahu'anhuma narrates that Rasulullah Salallahu'alayhiwasallam said: He who makes Allah angry for pleasing other people, Allah becomes angered and makes people also angry with him; including those he had pleased to anger Allah. And he who pleases Allah by making people angry; Allah is pleased and makes people also pleased with him; including those he had made angry to please Allah; so much so that he becomes virtous in the eyes of those peoplewho were angry and his words and deeds become adorned in their eyes.

May Allah clean our hearts and make us all sincere in all our endeavours!

Amin.

first things first!

Yes, we have to know our priorities.
As a muslim, our first priority is to please Allah.
How to please Allah?
Obey Him in every aspects of our lives.Stay away from sins!
Other people may say this and that but remember that these are peoples view and all of them will in the end return to Allah. So lets turn to Allah...
its impossible to make everyone happy with you so choose to please Allah.
InsyaAllah, Allah will make those u displease to please Allah please with you!
its Allah's promise!
take some time to view this video, insyaAllah, with a sincere heart, may Allah give us the light..
the right understanding of what Allah wants out of us
know our roles  and priorities in life as outlined by our deen...
and... act upon it, May Allah give us the strength, Amin.

wrong & strong

Recently, i was very much disappointed by one article published in one of the most popular islamic magazine in my country. Infact it used to be one  of my favourite mags too!
The article was on how to flirt.. the islamic way...
it was mentioned in the article that the first islamic step is to look/ observe the lady.. then, to smile at her since a smile is a sadaqah!
that was the first article on a mag which i immediately sent an email of critics to..

some thought that i overreacted but i think probably because the thing had been building up in me..
and this latest issue is it!
i had enough!

last time before i came to australia, i came across an article which  says that its easier to bring up children in a non-muslim country  because good and evil, islam and not islam can be clearly distinguished. But when ur in a muslim country, especially so in a modern muslim country, children, even adults actually, can be easily confused. Then again, some are of the opinion that, it is still better to be in a muslim country cause at least, you still have that islamic environment ie the mosque,  religious celebrations etc, so if u're bad, u'll not be as bad as one who live in a non-muslim country and had gone astray.
Anyhow, back to our topic...

the way our muslim ladies are dressing, their make-ups etc. Of course we cant judge Islam by the muslims, its easy to understand that some muslims may not have the knowledge etc but the thing is.. when the word islam is used in public/ on the labels/ front cover.. we as muslims have to be very careful with it!

ironic to see a heavily make-up  lady on front cover of an 'islamic' magazine
and an advertisement entitled burkini/ muslimah swimsuit with ladies in overall-tights/ i call cat-woman costume!
AllahuAkbar.. whats happening  to the ummah!
and the headscarves in-trend nowadays... i dont know where to start!

yes, people say that, at least it is the lesser of 2 evils but the thing is..we have to remember  that its  STILL evil. Unfortunately, most people forget and stop just there... in the evil zone!

Some may say that  you can't be extreme in da'wah..
but we have to realise that the truth is NOT extreme..
to disobey our Creator is extreme.
how can you say one who is trying to take  all measures to avoid punishment / the wrath of his or her creator is an extremist?!
I'm not saying that we have to be harsh in da'wah..
when we are doing da'wah with one person, face to face.. we need to deal with them accordingly,
i mean taking into consideration their backgrounds, personality etc
but when doing da'wah in public/ when addressing the community at large... we have to be very careful..
cause people out there is of different backgrounds and understandings... and especially  those who are just getting to know the deen, they may misinterpret things and thought that they're doing the right thing.
we dont want people out there to end up being wrong and strong..
in a hadith it was mentioned that when Allah intends good to a person, He will give him the understanding of deen.
may Allah guide us all.

The Sweetness of Sacrifice

Celebrating 'Eid-ul-Adha' is a commitment to sacrifice.
Sacrifice is a commitment to love.
Love is a commitment to faith.
Faith is commitment to life.
Hence life is but sacrifices.

Life is about struggle, and struggle certainly needs sacrifices.
Our readiness to sacrifice means our readiness to face the challenges of life, which is an evident challenge itself!

Thanks to Uncle Firman for sharing the above words of wisdom.
Life is but sacrifices...
But what is actually sacrifice?
Some people say that giving money to the poor is a sacrifice.
Some sacrifice their wealth for entertainment..
some sacrifice their time for sports
worst... some sacrifice their eternal HereAfter for this temporary world...

I am not saying that all mentioned above are not sacrifice.. (if we're talking about the dictionary's definition here) but the thing is...
what is true sacrifice?
of course... any 'true' thing has to be from Our Creator.. Allah
other than Allah, in this world, are all His creatures, all is dependent on Him and shall soon return to Him.
so lets get our defnitions right!
dont just go with the flow...
we have to look into our deen, turn to Islam... it is the way of life!

of course, everyone has their reasons for choosing one way or the other
everyones life is different, everyones tested in different ways, they have their own situations
.
whatever it is.. we have to be sincere,
have that strong intention to please Allah, not our lusts/ ego/ desire.
this life is for Allah.. insyaAllah, with a sincere heart.. Allah wil show us the way from whence we have no expectation!
life is but sacrifices and true sacrifice is a commitment to true love... for Allah.

Ya Allah, give me the strength to sacrifice for your sake.
Accept my sacrifice...
For there is nothing sweeter than the sweetness of sacrificing for You.

Failing/Falling in Love...

Are you in love?
Falling or failing in love?
either one.. we have to admit that it doesnt sound nice.
i mean falling is usually associated with pain, accidental, out of control, failing and all other negative things.
come to think of it.. no wonder we always say falling in love, cause in reality.. truly, the aforementioned things really describe love... worldly love that is! or should i say...the forbidden love?

That love which usually occur 'accidentally'. What they say- love at first sight?!

But somehow personally, i dont believe in this. I mean i think the reason these things happen accidentally is when one has no stand before the 'accident' happens. If we strongly believe that Allah knows best, Allah is Ever Watching all our actions and that falling in love or having pre- / extra- marital relationships are forbidden by Allah.. then we would surely took all measures to prevent ourselves from falling into it.

Islam forbids free mixing with the opposite sex. We have to believe that our future spouses have already been decreed by Allah. That even if we know this guy or girl for years... its not gonna make any difference... in a positive sense that is. The only difference it will make is we're gonna end up with more sins and if we end up with this guy or girl in the end, we're worried that the barakah of the marriage would be taken away cause it was built out of a haram relationship.

Thats if the relationship ended up with marriage.. if not...
we'd be frustrated, humiliated, disappointed. After all our 'hard' work- all the energy, time and money spent..
gone with the wind!
Its a loose-loose situation!

of course, for those people out there who are currently falling in love... we are humans, mistakes and of course 'accidents' happen... no doubt about that. What had happened has happened so we have to move on!
From now on wards... choose to please Allah. Choose to gain His Mercy and Blessings!
Be sorry for yourself for being naughty/ flirty before this. Its not just that ok naughty.. you have to realize that having this relationship equals to disobedience to Allah. The thought of this alone should make one leave the relationship at once!
AllahuAkbar... instill taqwa in our hearts. Dont let our sins blackened our hearts so much so that we are unable to differentiate whats right from wrong! Allah, save us all!

Remind yourself that this thing here is a serious matter. we're talking about your marriage here! Your future life partner!
That other half of you that people say if its a good one..then you would be a complete person, otherwise,you would be finished!
Its about your future generations to come!

Of course, the feeling of love is from Allah. In fact.. everything is from Allah.
Whatever we have here, in this world is from Allah and it shall one day return to Him. Everything is a test- some people are tested with wealth, some with health and some with feelings..
So believe o you lovers! You are being tested by Allah. The greater the test, the greater mujahadah is needed.The greater sacrifice, in terms of suppressing your desires insyaAllah will earn you greater rewards from Allah. So, if i could suggest to you some practical ways to save you from further falling/ failing in love, i would say drop everything for Allah- the sms-ses, facebooking, picture taking, phone calls, datings etc. Allah knows whats in your heart. How hard it is for you to forget him/ her.. Allah knows. Choose to gain His pleasure.. you never know what reward is waiting for you there!

Have that fear in your heart that as long as this relationship is still on.. you are actually sinning. And 1 sin will cause a black dot on your heart. Without tawbah, it will only grow more and more until your heart will be all blackened with sins... naudhubillahi min dhalik!
Then.. you wont even realize you're sinning... May Allah save us all!

Come.. lets rise in love.. lets be victorious in love. Keep yourself busy looking for the true love!
That love that will never disappoint you!
That love that will give you peacefulness and happiness in this world and in the next!
That everlasting love.. longer than forever!
None other than the love for Allah.
May Allah give us the chance to taste the sweetness of loving Him. Amin.

Wor-ship vs Wor-ries

The heart of a muslim whose object is the life HereAfter does not care for the worldly pleasures yet the world is brought to his feet; on the other hand, whoever goes after the world, he is overpowerd by miseries and calamities, yet he cannot receive more than his allotted portion.

The Prophet Sallahu'alayhiwasallam said: Allah says: "O son of man! devote yourself to My worship and I will free your bosom from the worldly anxieties and will remove poverty, otherwise I will fill your heart with a thousand worries and will not  remove your poverty."